Sonam J. Lama

Category: Life Lessons

  • Live as if you’re already dead

    Live as if you’re already dead. 

    Live as if you’re on borrowed time. 

    This remaining life is just icing on the cake.

    Close your eyes, take a deep breathe and imagine you are already dead.

    Now open your eyes and be grateful for being born again. You have a second chance, a new lease on life.

    Do what sets your soul on fire. Attack your bucket list.

    Have a biased toward action and achieve your wildest dreams, now when you are of the right mind, able bodied and still have this youthful adventurous nature.

    Time waits for no man.

    If you JFDI like my mentor Dan Martell has on his license plates, which stands for Just F*cking Do It and “Carpe Diem”, from the Roman poet Horace, which means “seize the day”, you will arrive at the end of your life with fulfillment, gratitude and a joyful feeling of doing all that you wanted to do.

    What a way to go out.

    You truly appreciated the ephemeralness of life, the miracles it possesses and truly squeezed every ounce of juice from life’s sweet nectar. 

    “We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one”- Confucius.

    Essentially, this means your first life is when you felt you have all of eternity. But your second life begins when you realize you only have this one and so you better make sure you make the most of it.

  • Everything Is Useless (But Let That Liberate You)

    Now, let that liberate you. Free you to find joy, play, be engulfed in your passions, your hobbies, have fun, go on adventures, and do whatever your heart desires.

    Everything is useless. There is nothing to fix.

    Whether we live in a simulation or not. 

    All of existence happened by chance.

    There is no rhyme, reason or purpose to anything.

    Once you realize this, you will be liberated.

    You will feel the weight of the world melt off your shoulders.

    You can now reconnect with your childhood passions.

    You will begin to play again.

    Since all of life is simply a play, a game, a non sensical, purposeless, meaningless existence.

    You are born, you have experiences, collect memories and then you die.

    Nothing more, nothing less.

    There is no God, no after life, no nothing.

    This is it.

    Now, let that liberate you. Free you to find joy, play, be engulfed in your passions, your hobbies, have fun, go on adventures, and do whatever your heart desires.

    Because in the end everything is useless.

  • Life Is Absurd (And That’s Ok)

    Life is absurd…

    And that’s ok.

    There is no meaning to any of this.

    Life does not require a meaning.

    If you need a meaning then the meaning is the meaning you give it or that your existence, life itself, to live is the meaning.

    You wake up, do the same things everyday, create some memories and then you die.

    Or you wake up, go on fun adventures, collect memories, and then you die.

    There is no good or bad.

    It is what it is.

    Things happen unexpectedly. With no rhyme or reason.

    You may be a great person, all prayed up, but then get shot in the head for no reason at all. Fine, if you need a reason, the reason was someone just woke up one day and wanted to kill somebody. There. There’s your reason.

    We are all alone on this planet.

    Every man for themselves.

    And that’s ok.

    For me, I’m an optimistic person by nature, so life being absurd actually instills in me a feeling of freedom, possibility, abundance and that anything is possible.

    We have this one life, this short existence, and then it’s over, into eternal darkness.

    “Basically, at the very bottom of life, which seduces us all, there is only absurdity, and more absurdity. And maybe that’s what gives us our joy for living, because the only thing that can defeat absurdity is lucidity.” -Albert Camus

    In this context, lucidity means honesty.

    Our antidote to absurdity of life is awareness, acceptance and to live our greatest lives.

    At least that’s what I feel.

    What’s your view on the absurdity of life?

  • You Must Do Things You Don’t Feel Like Doing (All The Time)

    You must do things you don’t feel like doing, all the time.

    As a Father, business owner, and coach there are so many things I do not feel like doing. But I do them anyway.

    You have to build up this muscle where you start moving, which begins to make you feel like doing more, and then before you know it the thing you didn’t want to do is almost done or completed.

    Action precedes motivation, meaning discipline requires taking physical or mental steps before you actually “feel” like doing them. 

    Here’s a core principle of discipline: 

    Action precedes emotion: You do not need to wait for inspiration or a good mood to start a task; starting the action changes your brain chemistry and creates momentum.

    For example,

    1. Waking up. Some days you just don’t want to because you’re tired, you didn’t get enough sleep, or whatever. But you get up, walk to the bathroom, wash some cold water on your face and before you know it you feel a little more awake and you’ve got some momentum. 
    2. I don’t feel like training my Basketball player or fitness clients. But same idea. I get to the gym and for some odd reason I begin to feel good, the training is moving, time is ticking and before I know it we had a great session.
    3. I don’t feel like working out. I know the value of exercise after reading books like, “Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain”.
    4. Writing on my blog and my newsletter. Frankly, I didn’t feel like writing this post you’re reading. But I have a habit of writing everyday and I know the impact and value my experience can bring to you. And so, I begin to write one letter, then one word and before I know it, here I am almost complete with this post.
    5. Doing my accounts receivables. I hate asking people for money but once I open up my Google Spreadsheets, getting into the flow of deep work, invoicing my clients, the boring work I had been avoiding is done.

    TLDR: get moving. Just by taking the smallest action, you will begin momentum, and you’ll begin to feel like doing more.

    Here’s the formula:

    Action -> Feel -> Result. 

    You can’t always rely on feeling good because as humans our emotions and how we feel go up and down. But what we can rely on is taking action, whether we feel like it or not, which is the first trigger to the domino effect to completing any task.

  • Climb Your Own Mountain

    Photo by Sabin Kumar on Unsplash

    What are your biggest dreams?

    What are your parents dreams?

    Right before you die, which would you be happy you achieved?

    Right, so live by your internal compass, listen to your intuition and make your dreams come true.

    They had their chance. Now it’s your turn.

    Growing up we’re conditioned by society to follow the rules and do what our elders say.

    However, when we become adults the world is our oyster.

    Yes, we still to have follow the law so we don’t get thrown in jail but barring that we have the freedom to do what we want.

    And at that crossroad of following what others tell you whats best for you and what you tell yourself, listen to yourself and climb your own mountain.

    Only you truly know what it is you want to accomplish in this world.

    When you die, you will be all alone and left with either regret or fulfillment.

    Even if you don’t reach the levels of success you set out at least you dared and were brave enough to pursue your hearts calling.

    Oh what a pity it would be to be called to live your dreams but reject the call for fear.

    So I urge you to listen to yourself, follow your intuition, and climb your own mountain.

    I’ve climbed my own mountain and would not have it any other way.

  • Be Your Own Best Friend (Be kind to yourself)

    Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

    This year has been the hardest year of my life.

    Separating from my wife has been heartbreaking, devastating and the most challenging ordeal I’ve ever had to experience.

    However, through it all, I kept repeating the mantra, “be kind to yourself.”

    You see, I am my own best friend. I always have been and always will.

    You and I both have had so much sh*t happen to us. It’s truly a miracle that we are still here.

    Life has many ups and downs.

    The one truth is that you are always there. You’ve seen and experienced everything.

    “No matter where you go there you are.”

    Through the separation from my wife, I was visited by loneliness, silence, sadness and loss.

    I had to be my own best friend.

    I could have wallowed and cried in a fetal position for hours, days or months on end.

    However, I truly know the preciousness of life and time.

    I knew deep down life will go on, I will be well again and ultimately, nothing matters.

    So with that awareness, I began to fix my sleep routine, my hygiene, get a super handsome haircut, eat the freshest, most nutritious foods, workout hard, dive back into my passions, work on my business, work on things I love and rekindle the most important relationship, which is with myself.

    Look, I fully understand how difficult life can get.

    In fact, life can become downright hopeless at times.

    But, always remember, during your darkest hour, during your darkest moments, be your own best friend and be kind to yourself.

    With love,
    Sonam

  • What If Writing Is My Ticket To Financial Freedom, Fulfillment and Immortality

    Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

    I’ve always been fascinated with the written word ever since I can remember.

    Something about putting words together to move someone just always captivated me.

    I would write long essays as a kid.

    I would write just to write when I was bored, needed to get my thoughts and emotions out.

    If I wasn’t writing I was reading. And you know what they say, “to become a better writer, read a lot.”

    Now as an adult I earn $80,000+ per year.

    However, at 37 I have not hit the financial number I desire.

    Of course, my excuse has been, being an entrepreneur is harder to make money than it is to just have a job.

    But, I’ve been writing online for 11 years and still believe and have this feeling, writing on my blog, building up my subscribers, sending out my newsletter can be be my ticket to financial freedom, fulfillment and immortality.

    This little writing habit and passion I’ve had since I was a kid can actually end up being the most lucrative business I have ever done.

    I mean just look at successful writers such as J.K. Rowling, Tim Ferriss and guys who have sold their newsletters such as Sam Parr for $30 Million, Morning Brew for $70 Million, Shaan Puri for $25 Million and more.

    That said, I have several tickets that will help me achieve my financial goals, fulfillment and immortality and writing is definitely one of them, because writing is my foundation. Everything I do stems from my writing.

    What is your ticket to financial freedom, fulfillment and immortality?

  • Life Is A “Lila” (A Cosmic Divine Play)

    Photo by Gary Scott on Unsplash

    Life is a lila.

    “Lila” means divine play in Sanskrit.

    We are simply a small part in this cosmic play.

    I’ve learned to simply let go and dance with life.

    Of course like any human I get caught up in the seriousness of life at times and I can also put on act.

    But, I often remind myself, of how life is a lila.

    There is no rhyme or reason.

    It’s just a beautiful play.

    Like a kid playing so freely or artist writing or painting.

    We are playing for the sake of playing.

    We are doing art for the sake of art.

    Like any human, I am flawed and have had many experiences.

    However, through it all, I’ve learned there is no such thing as good or bad, success or failure. It just is.

    There is no morality, right or wrong.

    Life is purely happenstance.

    The very fact of our existence and how we came to be is pure coincidence.

    So to put a purpose or meaning to life is foolish.

    We are simply here to do whatever we choose.

    Life is a lila, a cosmic play.

  • 9 Life Hacks To Level Up Your Life (37 yo Father, Entrepreneur)

    1. Action -> Motivation. Meaning, do the the thing
    2. Parkinson’s Law
    3. Getting answer on Google AI is much faster than watching a youtube video (but for more in depth detail or how to physically perform something, in those case, video may be better)
    4. Write to declutter your mind, regain clarity, express your thoughts, feelings and emotions. It’s therapeutic, relieving, and healing.
    5. Meditation. Calm, sharpens your mind, helps you gain clarity, gain equanimity and peace.
    6. Watch and/or listen to youtube videos in 2x speed.
    7. Build the show-up-ability muscle. Just show up.
    8. Wake up early. Gives you “me” time, allows you to enter a flow state, and get your most important work done before the world wakes up.
    9. Have systems, structure, routine in your life to allow you to invest your precious focus and brain cells on the big things that matter.

  • Hard Work is Not Enough for Success You Also Need…

    Hard work is not enough for success you need a clear strategy, the right direction, and supportive networks.

    Naval Ravikant believes that hard work is essential for building massive wealth, but it must come third after choosing what to work on and who to work with.

    “Hard work is absolutely no substitute for who you work with and what you work on. They’re like three legs of a stool. You short change any one of them, the whole stool is going to fall down.”

    “What you choose to work on, and who you choose to work with, are far more important than how hard you work.” Naval Ravikant

    It’s like playing on a Basketball team. You can work as hard as you want, but without the right strategy and teammates plus coaches we cannot win a championship.

    Even if you are an athlete in a solo sport like boxing. If you don’t have the right strategy to beat your opponent, the right coach, you can’t become a world class fighter.

    For me, hard work has been something ingrained in me since a young age.

    My parents immigrated from Nepal working 16 to 18 back breaking hours per day.

    My coaches all preached hard work as the key to success.

    My mentors said you got to want success as bad as you want to breathe.

    And so I thought hard work was all I need to succeed.

    But then I grew up and realized hard work is not enough.

    Yes, I still need to work hard, however I also need to have a clear strategy and the right mentors, team and/or network to help me achieve my goals.

    For example, having a clear strategy may be what is the most viable market for me that fit my unique strengths, abilities and interests. Or understanding how someone has dominated an industry before and stealing and applying that exact same framework into my business.

    The second pillar is having the right mentors, team and/or network.

    You know the saying, “if you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

    That saying rings true, since you cannot see your own blindspots.

    Or said differently, you cannot see the light when you are shrouded in darkness.

    Someone 100 chapters ahead or who has achieved your goal already has the map.

    It’s like you walking around in circles for years in one spot, when all you had to do was follow a map and the treasure would have been all yours.

    That is what having mentor, coach or right team can do for you.

    It’s like what Steve Jobs said, “You can only connect the dots looking back.” Find someone who has achieved what you want and will look back to help you connect the dots. Steve also had a coach. Steve’s most famous and influential mentor and advisor was Bill Campbell, widely known as the “Trillion Dollar Coach” of Silicon Valley. In 2010, Jobs also briefly worked with executive coach John Mattone.

    So, remember the 3 pillars of success: clear strategy, right team, and hard work.